8 Workplace Romance Facts You Need to Know
L is for the way those colleagues look at each other.
O is for… office PDA. For or against?
V is for Valentine’s Day.
E is for enforcing rules and guidelines around workplace relationships.
There’s no need to put Cupid out of a job completely, but your employees need to understand the importance of always maintaining professionalism and knowing where the limits lie.
A 2024 Forbes Advisor survey asked 2,000 US workers about romantic relationships in the workplace. 43% of respondents had married someone they had met at work, while 40% had cheated on a current partner with a colleague.
Workplace relationships will happen regardless of what HR does. And romance in the office can be a minefield to navigate as an HR team. But there are ways you can minimize any risk. Here are eight HR facts about relationships in the workplace you need to know, so you can set up the right policies and better support your people.
1. Gen Z Are the Most Open to Workplace Relationships
For younger workers, love can be found at the water cooler. A 2023 study conducted by SHRM found that Gen Z were most likely to be open to an office romance (33%) compared to Millennials (15%), Gen X (27%), and Boomers (23%).
2. Workplace Romances Happen More Than You Think
While many US workers don’t appreciate office romances—40% of people believe they’re unprofessional—they’ll continue to happen anyway. SHRM’s survey found that 17% of respondents had been involved in an “official relationship” with a peer, while 24% had been on a date with a colleague.
Familiarity, comfort, and spending time with the same person every day can lead to feelings developing. It’s all very natural, but it’s important that your business has steps in place to mitigate any risk from a bad breakup or favoritism in teams.
3. The Rules for Romantic Workplace Relationships Must Be Written Down
It’s imperative to have policies in writing—probably somewhere near the rules on sexual harassment. Not only will a proactive approach help your organization avoid pitfalls, but it’ll also help avoid any awkward situations that may arise.
For example, established rules about public displays of affection can help to prevent your employees from snogging in the break room—and halt the perception that you made the rule in response to a specific incident.
4. Workplace Relationships Will Happen Regardless of the Rules
No matter how strict your (written) rules are, romances will happen. Whether you decide to discourage office romances or not, forbidding them altogether won’t prevent them from happening; it’ll just force employees to break the rules and keep their relationships private.
You’ll be much better off accepting that they will happen and encouraging employees to discuss workplace relationships with HR reps and supervisors—especially when the relationships become serious.
According to the SHRM study, only 18% of people disclose office romances to their employer and 71% of respondents’ employers don’t require employees to disclose workplace relationships.
The more open and candid employees can be, the easier it’ll be to avoid any serious problems.
5. Managers and Subordinates Should Not Hook Up
While forbidding romances is counterproductive, there’s one exception. The vast majority of companies have strict rules against relationships between supervisors and direct reports.
The obvious conflict of interest that comes from such relationships is a culture-killer. But more importantly, these relationships can easily lead to lawsuits for the manager and their employers.
For those who aren’t managers, these relationships are often a lose-lose situation. Forbes notes that 50% of employees believe that workplace relationships lead to favoritism. Plus, if the couple breaks up, it’ll be almost impossible for the employee to stick around.
6. Office Romances Can Get Messy
Gossip, resentment, ugly breakups: The list of ways a workplace romance can get messy goes on and on. And some of those ways can be catastrophic.
Consider how easily workplace romances turned sour can become sexual harassment lawsuits. Additionally, 40% of US workers have cheated on their existing partner with a peer, adding a whole new slew of negative effects and hurt feelings.
All of this messiness might make the relationships more fun for thrill-seekers, but HR cannot afford to be naive to the consequences. This is another reason why it helps to be proactive when it comes to office romances; make sure your people know what they are in for before they start getting cozy with their colleagues.
7. Flirty Behavior Isn’t the Same As a Work Relationship but Should Be Monitored
When it comes to flirty behavior—think cheeky comments, suggestive glances, and subtle touches—50% of people claim to engage in this with colleagues. But it may not result in anything more.
Make sure your team is clued up on what’s appropriate and what isn’t in the workplace to avoid any sexual harassment claims, and check in on anyone who doesn’t appear comfortable with actions from other employees.
8. People Will Gossip About Romantic Relationships on the Team
Some people love to gossip about their peers, and a blooming office romance is the perfect juicy thing to whisper about while in the break room.
As a HR team, it’s important to stress that private matters should stay that way and there’ll be consequences and disciplinary action for anyone spreading rumors about colleagues. Protect the psychological safety of your team and make sure everyone feels comfortable in the workplace.
Workplace relationships can have negative reactions from other people on the team—they may be concerned about favoritism, public displays of affection, or the fallout if the couple splits up. Encourage everyone to communicate and shut down any false rumors as soon as possible.